Hey everyone! May is (formerly National) Masturbation Month, so get get thee to bed (or the nearest empty room, or a dark corner in an alley… you know, whatever strikes your fancy) and have a good wank.
Or do this: Walk into your corner watering hole / local public ale house, sit next to an attractive stranger, look him / her dead in the eye, and ask: “So. What’s the most interesting and / or fun place you’ve ever masturbated?” I bet if you did this continuously throughout a Friday or Saturday night while bar hopping, you’d end up with some fantastic stories. Write a comment if you do! Consider it homework. I am, after all, a teacher.
For me, it was on an express bus crossing South Korea. I was on my way home, texting back and forth with this guy I’d wanted to sleep with for years; we were making plans for him to come over that night and “have a few beers.” I couldn’t stop fantasizing about him; I absolutely had to touch myself. The bus was full of people, but most of them were sleeping. I was sitting in a solo seat and the entire bus was dark; I was silent, and as far as I know, no one noticed at all. But hey! At least I’m not the only one who does this. The express buses in Korea usually stop at a rest area for fifteen – twenty minutes; I’ve also gone into the rest area bathroom on a couple of cross-country journeys to rub one out. Sometimes you just need that release, you know?
To women everywhere who acknowledge that they masturbate and enjoy it, I salute you.