This crazy thing is happening right now, and it’s pretty wonderful: I’m not having sex.
I’ll let that sink in.
I started unexpectedly seeing someone new a few weeks ago; he’s an acquaintance whom I’ve known for years, but have never particularly felt attracted to. We were sitting in a bar and chatting one night; I mentioned that I was cold, and he took my hands to warm them. That felt pretty nice, so I just left my hands in his. A bit later, when I was telling him how lovely that felt, he kissed me out of the blue – which was shocking, as I’ve always considered this guy to be a little shy and socially awkward. The kissing was pretty nice, too, so I asked him on a date… and then I asked him to spend the night.
He told me that he was happy to stay there, but he didn’t want to compromise his morals. See – this guy is religious. Not in a church-on-Christmas kind of way, but in a bible-study-small-town-Baptist-church kind of way. I’m barely even spiritual, so… it’s interesting. Making out with him in my bed and not being able to touch his dick was a glorious kind of torture; I was soaking wet all through the night and really relished that heightened state of arousal that I’m so used to curing with release. This time, it just built and built and built, and I could feel the sexual energy coursing through my body for hours.
That was two weeks ago.
This guy has spent the night at my house three times, and I haven’t seen him naked, and… it’s been kind of amazing. He asked me to slow dance in my living room and to walk around to look at Christmas lights. He takes his hat off when he walks in my door. He went a half mile out of his way a few days ago so he could walk me home, and he kissed me at midnight on New Year’s Eve (the first time in over ten years I’ve been with a date on NYE). He’s an old-fashioned romantic and I am LOVING THE FUCK OUT OF IT.
We’re not compatible for a million reasons (God is not a fan of my libido, for one), and I’m leaving the country in six weeks – but for right now, being wanted for my company rather than my cunt feels healing, and being with someone who loves slow dancing is even better.