The very first time I remember feeling pleasure on my clitoris and trying to recreate it was when I was twelve(ish?); clamping my hands around the edge of the deep end of a swimming pool, I remember feeling jets of water rushing over my crotch and thinking, “Hey, that feels pretty great; I wonder if I can do that in my very own bathtub?” And indeed, I could! That’s right, folks: I started wanking because of the Young Men’s Christian Association. Thanks, YMCA.
When I was older and started using vibrators, I noticed that they gave me completely different sensations and orgasms; while I lasted longer using a vibrator, the orgasms I had were less intense. I never thought I’d find a toy that gave me the same sensations that a strong jet of water could… but the toy has finally found me. The pressure waves / pressurized air pulses of the Satisfyer toys (and the Womanizer toys, I’m sure) feel very much like water to me. This is kind of bittersweet: While I get off faster and more efficiently, as soon as I come, I need the stimulation off my clit immediately, whereas with a vibrator, it might take me longer to climax, but I can keep it on my clit and continue to wank because the sensations don’t overstimulate me.
I (along with a TON of other sex bloggers) was sent three different Satisfyer toys to try out in exchange for an honest review – the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibrate, the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit, and the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples. All three:
- use “air pulse technology” to create a kind of suction feeling
- have a removable nozzle on the head for easy cleaning
- are white with champagne / rose-colored accents
- are waterproof and can therefore be submerged
- are USB-rechargeable and connect to the chargers magnetically
- have eleven levels of intensity for the wave / suction nozzle
- have ten vibration patterns for the vibe; the patterns are similar to those on other vibrating toys
- become a LOT more buzzy at higher vibration levels
- cost $60 at the US Satisfyer website
- are made of silicone and ABS plastic
- have separate buttons for suction and vibration; you have to cycle through the vibration patterns but are able to raise and lower the suction level with separate buttons on all of them
- have warnings in the user manuals not to “product to stimulate any part of the body for more than 15 minutes,” which is a bit worrisome.
- are more easy to seal against the clit with a bit of lube
- have an initial charge time of 2 – 8 hours
Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration
Charge time: 2 hours Use time: 2 hours
You press and hold the button with the wave symbol on it in order to start and stop the vibrations; press and hold the button with the power symbol on it to start and stop the suction waves, which was confusing at first and ended up with me turning on the rather loud vibrator when I’d meant to turn on the quieter air pulse nozzle… I don’t live alone, so I rely on quiet toys for discreet wanking. The manual says that you should “spread the labia apart to expose the clitoris” as to “perfectly position the pressure wave stimulator”; however, because my clit is so sensitive, I didn’t need to form a seal or position it perfectly – it got me off when loosely placed and on low settings. This might not be true for someone who prefers or needs stronger or more intense stimulation. The Pro Plus has a curved shape, and the buttons are super accessible (the power buttons are also different sizes, making it easy to distinguish between them if you can’t see them); while I love the way it fits into my hand, I can’t stop thinking that it looks like a penis fish / other various sea worms! Take that as you will. I use this toy often and love it; my favorite thing about it is that because of the way the nozzle is set up, when I turn on the vibrator, it vibrates around my clit. As previously stated, I have a super sensitive clitoris, so I’m not a huge fan of direct stimulation; I love that I can use this toy as a vibrator when I want a more languid wank and as an air pulse toy when I just need a quick release.
Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit
Charge time: 3 hours Use time: 2 hours
Both the air pressure waves and the vibrations of the rabbit are quieter than those on the Pro Plus Vibration model, which is nice if you don’t want to be heard; in this model, you just press and hold the increase button for the air pulse nozzle instead of pressing a power button, which I actually prefer (I found it less confusing). Although I personally enjoy them, I wouldn’t recommend rabbit-style toys in general; as most of them have an immobile arm for clit stim, the chances that they’ll fit everyone’s anatomy are slim to none. With this toy in particular, fit is important as many folks find that they need a seal around their clit in order to get off with the air pulse nozzle. The Satisfyer Rabbit has an edge / ridge around the dildo part; I find it super uncomfortable and prefer a more round / smooth dildo. Overall, I’m not really into this toy; I’d prefer a combination of a regular dildo and the Pro Plus so that I can take the stimulation off my clit immediately after I come, but keep using the dildo.
Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples
Charge time: 1.5 hours Use time: 70 minutes
This model has the same controls as the Pro Plus Vibration model. This was the first time I’ve ever used a couple’s toy; I’ve been super curious about all of the insertable WeVibes, for instance, but I wasn’t willing to shell out over $100 as someone whose primary partner lives on another continent. Good thing, because I’m guessing they’d be as disappointing as this toy is. It seems to me that the whole point of having toys like this is that you get a hands-free clitoral stimulator while having partnered penetrative sex… but the thing wouldn’t stay in. I had to hold it in place the whole time, and it kept slipping and sliding around my clit because of the thrusting motions. I also had a really difficult time feeling where the buttons were when it was in so I could raise and lower the pulse level. I was able to get off with it, but only when I was on top of my partner and only when I was rocking more than riding. Furthermore, the piece that’s meant to sit inside the vagina felt a bit sharp to me because it has a pointed shape; it was uncomfortable for me and my partner both, and I think a more round shape would be more comfortable. This toy also has the same problem that the rabbit does: Not everyone’s body is shaped the same, and because the toy comes in one size, it will fit some people’s anatomy and not others’. If I want clitoral stimulation during PIV / strap-on sex in the future, I’d feel better off with either a cock ring or a small hand-held vibrator (or a small air pulse toy like the Satisfyer Penguin).
In general, I really love the feeling of the air pressure waves / pulses in all of the Satisfyer toys; they’re completely different than motor-driven vibrations and great for a quick, efficient wank. They feel pretty great on nipples as well! The fact that these toys are rechargeable and can be completely submerged (and are quieter when they are) are huge selling points, and the chargers are fantastic. I’m personally not into the white color; it feels too clinical, and I prefer bright, bold colors (anything but fucking pink). Everyone has different preferences, however, and some reviewers are really into the white color. I also love how affordable these toys are; that said, professional sex toy reviewers have had some problems with the quality of the toys, and I haven’t had the toys long enough to be able to say how long they will last / function.
Final verdict: If you’re on a budget, don’t care about noise level (the toys can get pretty loud), and like a quick and intense release, I’d highly recommend the Pro Plus. The sensations are unique, the toy can be adapted for different body parts and types, and you can use both the vibrator and the air pulse nozzle when you’re feeling up for one or the other (or both)! I think it would be a fabulous toy to attempt to edge with while wanking.
If you’d like to purchase one of these lovely toys for yourself or someone you love to celebrate Jesus becoming a zombie, you can get a 25% discount on any of Satisfyer’s toys from March 30th – April 2nd (ends at 11:59 pm MESZ) with discount code teachershavesex25 at www.satisfyer.com. Toys can only be mailed to Europe, Canada, and the US.