I. Love. Being. A. Unicorn.
Not a polyamory unicorn – to that I say, Oh HELL To The No. No one hands an OPP down to this gal. I love being a one-night stand threesome unicorn – a magical woman who for one inspiring night can spice up the sex lives of a couple who has been together for a long time with a little bit of novelty. I love seeing people in couples watch each other as they’re playing with someone else – that particular facial expression that’s a mixture of arousal and love. Playing with a couple who has never had a threesome but has always fantasized about it is an intense and exciting experience – their joy and enthusiasm literally rubs off on me.
I love hearing, “Fuck, this is hot!” from a man (wish I could say I’d experienced a threesome with two other women – but, you know, bucket list) as he’s fucking his wife from behind, watching his own cock thrust into her while also watching her going down on me – seeing my face flushed, eyes closed, moaning, feeling every centimeter of her tongue on my vulva. I also love hearing, “Fuck, this is hot!” from a woman as she’s furiously masturbating while watching her boyfriend pound me hard, hand gripping my hair tight as he can, feeling my cunt clench around him while I’m staring at how beautiful she looks in her shiny sex glow. I love sitting on a man’s face while making out with his girlfriend while she’s riding his cock… and no one can say, “Fuck, this is hot,” ‘cause all our mouths are busy. It’s truly the best thing ever.
I know there are million couples looking for a third to fulfill their fantasy; thought it might be helpful to see what someone who loves doing this and has sifted through a LOT of threesome posts looks for in a post:
1) The couple has been together for a long time. To me, this signifies a likelihood that they really care about each other’s well-being and safety. I prefer married couples for this reason.
2) The post is well-written (I.e., no text slang), and the couple actually says something about who they are and what their interests are.
3) There’s an emphasis on the woman’s pleasure if it’s a hetero couple. Bonus if a man is writing it and says something along the lines of, “This is for her – I’ll be there watching and would be happy to join if that’s something you’re comfortable with.” EXTRA HUGE bonus if a woman wrote the post.
4) There are no pictures or descriptions of genitals. This is totally a personal preference, but I don’t give a shit how hung you are or how nice your ass is if you don’t know how to use your words. When a couple sends me (hopefully recent) photos, what I really want to see is their faces.
5) They’re taking time to look for someone who fits their needs and respects their boundaries (which says that they are okay with me taking time to find someone who fits my needs and respects my boundaries). Any post that says, “Looking for someone tonight” is a red flag to me. They want to meet their potential third in a public place first to get to know that person and say there’s no pressure to hook up if there’s no chemistry.
6) Along the same lines, they are open to some email correspondence and conversation beforehand to talk about things like logistics, barriers, STI testing, etc.
If you’re looking for a bisexual lady threesome unicorn, here are some places you can look!
- A paid site like Adult Friend Finder, Kasidie, or any number of other swinger dating sites
- Good old Craigslist. People knock CL, but I love it. I have met some wonderfully genuine, fun, and hot people on CL.
- The relatively new 3inder app
- OKC (apparently you can sign up as a couple?)
- Your friends! I know so many couples with whom I would love to have a threesome. Unfortunately for me, the couples I want to bang usually say no because one of them isn’t into it, and I haven’t been attracted to the friends who wanted me to be their third.
This was originally meant to be a post about fantasy threesomes with famous couples (I’m looking at you, Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem), but sometimes posts have a tendency to morph into something else entirely. Do any of you have fantasies about threesomes with famous couples?